Jul 20, 2007

Day 17: Imagine sitting on a porch

I flew a kite today. I hadnt flown a kite since the mid 1980's. It was fun.

Imagine sitting on a porch.
To your left in the near distance, you see a rocky mountain range underneath a blue sky filled with white and pink clouds as far as you can see.
On the sandy ranch, a van is parked, children are playing, laughing and chattering as they do. This group was speaking either french or german, regardless it was obvious, they were full of glee.
Near where they play as the sun is setting slowly, the lamp post stands, a few bats are circling the small group of insects fluttering about the lit lamp.
A few sparrows hover in a circle just above the grassy area snapping up small insects jumping in and out of the grass.
Far in the distance, in the fenced area, a few horses meander around.
Occassionally a few large rabbits poked their head our on the edges of the grass waiting for dark to come so they can run around freely.
A spotted deer, a pet named Bucky, sits near the right of you, near the owners quarters, tending to his fur, licking, itching, or what not.
If you are lucky, sometimes you'll see some 6-9 inch red headed lizards running around in the gravel.
This is all at once. There is much life here...

I may be leaving Kanabe/Paria tomorrow. Easton, who owns the ranch, used to do quite a bit of traveling with Trek America so he's giving me the 411 on secret little places off the beaten path to visit.

I hate to leave, but I still have half of the US to drive through til I am back in Tennessee and back to Utah. Im excited about packing up and leaving Nashville. I heard this saying one time, "If you want to be in the sun, you have to leave the shade of your family tree." Though my immediate family lives 3-4 hours away, I've been in Nashville so long it has been a safe haven for me. I guess that I could attain a good level of success career/relationship-wise if I stayed, but for now I feel like I have to jump in the deep end to make things happen... or maybe, for things, NOT to happen. Regardless of what happens or not, these past few weeks have been a great escape from the world that I have known for the last several years.... Sitting in front of a computer, tied to a desk, whether it be at work, or at home.

Easton's ranch, BTW, caters to Trek America. They take about 10-14 young people from all over the world, and one person drives them around to different spots for hiking, touristing, partying, etc. I wish I had come across the position earlier in life. If you are from 21-30 years of age, its a great way to see the country and have fun with a bunch of foreigners and get paid for it.

The ranch is busiest in September so I figure I will come back late August and live here for a while and help. I dont know what will happen after that.

It's peculiar that before I left, I held a strong hold on my future plans as far as career building, relationships, etc. I was waiting for things to happen, when really even careers, and relationships... you just can't make happen. They just do, and they cannot be rushed. Now I am uncertain of it all, but I know it will all be fine. Maybe even great.

I suppose this sense of security comes from the fact that I already know that I am to be an artist as an identity for life. Its everything else that seems to be unwritten and unforeseeable. Before I left, I would have felt irresponsible for leaving work, for not being able to do art, not socializing, but now, none of it concerns me greatly. I was holding tight on to something that really didnt need to be held so dearly.

It seems though for the few times I have taken leaps of faith or great changes in directions, nothing but good has come out of it. It makes life exciting and fun when you feel like you will be OK no matter what.

Sleep calls. Cheerio friends.


Anonymous said...

Good to hear you are doing well. Wish we could be there to experience the greatness first hand. But until that time...we are living through you. Thank you again for sharing your amazing journey (in both the physical and emotional senses).
To the Future!

Anonymous said...

Reading your experiences has been wonderful - and it's amazing to watch someone go through changes while traveling - as I did recently - its a beautiful and exhilarating thing to experience unknown places and unfamiliar faces. I'll be back in San Francisco August 5th. Wishing you good travels and safe journeys.


Art Talk said...

maybe it's bunk to leave quotes on someone's weblog, but i thought of this, thinking about you:

"Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute;
What you can do, or dream you can do, begin it;
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."

you are taking good paths :-)