Aug 30, 2008

Chantix Day 12: No Smokes

Today, I did not smoke.

I hadn't chosen today as my quit date, but there was no great difficulty in resisting. Although I had a slight desire, the uncontrollable urge that usually takes over my zombie body to dress, get in the car, and go down to the local gas station did not rear its ugly head today. It's somewhat a surreal experience to be someone else, as when you are a smoker, it usually encompasses a majority of the day, just in 4-7 minute increments.

I do have a small fear that tomorrow I may not feel the same, but the medication seems effective enough to alleviate the pressure of having to exerting my own will. We'll see.

I had some wicked dreams last night, unfortunately I only remember a portion.

At my parent's previous Murfreesboro Briar Ct home, I was in the bathroom, although in the dream the scale was much larger. The toilet was 4 times the typical size. Also I had a vision of the other bathroom that was connected to the master bathroom, also with a toilet 4 times the typical size.

One toilet was filled and spilling with what looked like gigantic grains of rice or maggots.

In the other toilet was red meat. Glistening colorful red meat with white fat stripes, and if I recall correctly garnished with yellows and some other colors that seemed to be vegetables like peppers, and beans.

I don't remember much, but it feels most of the night, my brain is active like a television left on. Although sporadically you might be aware of it, you still sleep away.

I am not sure, but it seems in the last week or so, the medication has made me somewhat more bold, or outspoken. Possible irritability has increased the likelihood that I would be more willing to speak my mind.

Usually when I am around those I have known for a while, I am known to be quite blunt and forthcoming, I sense that my willingness in light of possibly offending does not curtail keen aggressive comments.

Now, I just have to get a cane, and a limp, and I'll be one step closer to House M.D.


Anyways, for those interested in Chantix, it seems to be working. We'll see.


Andrea said...

Yay, congrats! Just take it one day at a time. No worries. :)

But if you turn into House I will have to stalk you for realz. ;)

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