Apr 1, 2008

Tipping Point of Self Worth & New Project

Here's another comp for a personal project. Forget the tattooed pig. Mr Pig is going to get neglected like America's emo populous, but I will eventually finish him. I have a list of projects/images I want to do.

Currently titled Davy Jones Locker. Might also be named Fight the Good Fight.


Tipping Point of Self Worth

I have one gig that will take up half the month of April. I'm hating it too. It's decent money, but since I've been able to win contests, seen my value in the mass market, and what moderately little effort it takes, Im somewhat hesitant to pour all my time into just a small amount of guaranteed income.

I think this is hitting at the core of some of my experiences, and a belief that I've held to be infallible by multiple experiences and observations, but not willing to accept and act upon.

I strive for symbiotic relationships, but I also have a tendency to be a more of a giver in most or at least perceive that I at least try to do so. Certainly I sell my self or service short.

I think this tendency is not conducive to financially successful individuals.

For a person to be successful, at least financially, you have to have sharp elbows, a self worth that parades like a peacock, but concurrently skills and a value to offer that can substantiate being a haughty little peacock. Along with it of course, is the typical business sense, customer service, etc...

Let me present you an example from a couple years ago.

I was hired at Active Creations at $10.
Soon I was bumped to $12.
Then the Art Director left, so I was bumped to 30K plus commisssion.

I was always giving, and valued more the experience than the money so I never flinched much with low salary.

Then, I had them pinned against the wall. I had learned on my own accord how to separate tshirts faster and better, allowing for a wider range of realism as well as releasing the artistic restrictions used in the art.

And they had hired 2 new artists, and I was the only one with the knowledge of pretty much the whole art department nuances, such as the quirks of the output machine and how to get it to work, how to set up the software... etc.

They also had a tight deadline on some major projects with major clients which otherwise could not be finished without my presence.

I could have asked for a significant pay raise, but I didnt. I was due one, but I felt like I would give them the benefit of the doubt.

Certainly they did give me a sheepishly small raise many months later, after my patience had run out, and I demanded it.

This tends to happen with relationships on a personal level as well.

Why else would I leave beautiful Utah. A compromise could have been reached, but I knew, just like working for someone, there's a ceiling to level of appreciation returned and no ceiling on the expected servitude or sacrifice.

So I suppose I am at a point, where I feel confident enough that Im ready to place bets on my worth. Not my perceived self worth, but others worth on me...

Bet 1: I will contact the company I freelance for and ask for triple the initial charges I started with them in December 07.

Bet 2: If rejected, I am betting that I will be able to recreate the income through contests or avenues where I dictate my monetary value higher than what my initial self deprecated value.

If either bets fail, I'm still a winner.

I win by learning. I think either way, sometimes you have to test relationships. Whether it be because by human nature it is in our being to want to be valued, or to counteract our exploded or deprecated self worth.

I cant wait to possibly fall flat on my face!


PS. Cool Animal Shirts I found...


Shana said...


(I bet you can't go a full 24 hours without saying or typing "word").

Chadlonius said...

I really enjoy your work. Keep it up, its inspiring.

kat said...

I keep telling you how talented and inspiring you are. It's nice to see that you're starting to think that way as well.