Mar 22, 2008

Recording of Crackheads & On Changing Others

I finally got around to unloading my cell phone data.

Before I left Tennessee I had some crackhead neighbors.

At one time, the woman and man couple, both got cracked out.

OK. I dont know if it was crack they were doing. They could have been just horribly drunk.

One afternoon, there were slurred arguments, slamming doors, and yelling.

Then the wailing ensued.

The woman was on the ground in plain view below my balcony in public view, writhing about wailing about something. I believe there was also a patch of vomit underneath her head that jostled back and forth like an infants unsupported head.

Here is the recording. Enjoy

I did have some issues, questions like, should I help her, be compassionate, etc. But then, trying to talk to a person who's obviously obliterated and in a state of mind where they are incapable of rational thought, I thought it best to leave her alone. I could have helped her get back in her apartment, but then that would have just helped her escape the law who came pretty quickly. Besides, some people are too far gone to be helped, their brains turned to mush of years of self abuse.

On Changing Others or Self

In a similar vein, I had the thought recently, that changing others, I suppose if you want to glorify oneself 'helping' others, is merely a desire to feed oneself of control and selfish personal worth.

Certainly, Im sure there are those that do truly desire to help and improve others, but then again, this is the endless unanswerable question of "Is there any unselfish act?"

This thought came upon me as I was angered by PERSON for something moderately insignificant.

Although as I walked away to extricate myself from the situation, I started to think,

1. There is no changing PERSON, or the personality trait that is a constant irritant to me.

2. If there was a chance that I could change PERSON, it would at least be more difficult than controlling my own feelings.

Certainly if my anger was hard to control, and it is MY emotions, my being, how difficult would it be to manipulate someone else? Impossible I think.

Thus, work on oneself. Change oneself. That's hard enough to do.

So my resolve was to accept PERSON as being. Regardless if it was pleasing to my sensibilities or not, it was an unchanging aspect. Although still prone to become irritated by certain situations that accentuate the trait that I dislike, I try harder just not to get irritated.

So I supposed I began to try to change myself, or my reaction, which was to not get angry.

Which, arose to another question. How long should one allow to be encroached, where one has to be patient, accept inequity or frankly put, put up with someones shit?

That's another blog. If I feel like sweeping the floor made of dust.


kat said...

words I would use to describe you:

aware, succinct, conscious, clever, creative, intelligent - both traditionally and emotionally, there is much more, but I am tired and slightly drunk. more later.

Eric said...

Kat is full of s#it.

So are you... Good s#it! :)

I couldn't understand what the recording was of... Scary sounding...