Short Story 12.09.09

Staples: "Would you like to sign up for our Rewards Card, it will save you 10%"

Jimi: "No thank you."

Staples: "All we need is your name and phone number."

Jimi: "I'm moving."

Staples: "Staples is located all over the United States."

Jimi: "The world's going to end in 2012, I don't care to save money."

Staples: "I don't know where they get those theories."

Jimi: "I'm just kidding, it was a movie, I'm just seeing about your objection resolution."

Staples: "Even if the world does end in 2012, it will be OK, we will all go to Heaven."

Jimi: (Chuckling, thinking, hrm, is this guy Mormon, Baptist, or Crazy?) "Oh yeah?"

Staples: "Well, if you accept Jesus as your personal Christ and Savior. Although it is also a journey..."

(It's tending towards the Baptist phrasing with "as your personal Christ and Savior," and the caveat of believing in Jesus as a prerequisite for entry to heaven. )

Jimi: "Well thanks."

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Can you imagine the two stories?

Jimi: "Yup, that fateful day, I went to get a CAT6 cable I was saved from damnation!"

Staples: "Yup, that fateful day, instead of selling Staples Rewards card, I saved a soul from damnation! Praise Lord!"

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Critique:

As a sales technique, using the phrase, "as your personal Christ and Savior" is very confusing and off putting to someone who is not familiar with Christianity. The phrasing needs to be reworked to be more palatable. Just a FYI for those of you considering witnessing to people, read a sales book, and think about marketing. Even if its salvation, you have to be very human in pitching someone a product per say, especially if it's more than just a CAT cable. Winning someone to your side is a very delicate process.