Jun 17, 2009

No Internet Day #2

On my second day of being without internet, I finished reading http://bit.ly/wxQzg, doodled a bit http://twitpic.com/7me0e, and I wrote what's below.

And did laundry.

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Suppositional Truth: Of any close relationship, unless you are sexing them up and letting happy oxitocins and other chemicals bind you to the person, everyone is truly unbearable in full proximity after a certain amount of time. (for a hater like me... :D)
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There were a group of kids on the playground. All of a sudden they bolted like a school of fish averting danger, leaving a younger little girl, who remained behind though she had could have followed with her scooter.

She sat wailing, muttering to herself something like, "Why they always leave me alone?"

Mumblings and sulking were interrupted by intermitten silence as her brain wafted from investigating the surrounding playground, her toes or whatnot. After a few moments, Oh yeah, she remembered, I'm bummed about being abandoned, and she started to cry again.

I was putting clothes in the washer, and she was unaware of my prescence. As I watched through the window, it somewhat reminded me of myself, having had experienced abandonment, or at least I seem to recall a few instances of the feeling, imagined or real who knows, from my childhood.

The funny, audacious response to her question would be, "It's probably because you are a needy attention whore, and your little friends don't like you. If you weren't so helpless, they might actually like you. I mean, look, there's the scooter, get off your whiny little ass and go find them."

But maybe her friends were a little insensitive. What can you expect from children, especially boys who are looking to go do something physical like ride their scooters or throw the ball.

I said "Hi," and smiled. I waved as I drove away as my laundry had been started. She smiled a cute, big smile, but I didn't look back because it was all that I had offer.

Sometimes people just want to know they exist, that they matter enough that someone notices. This isn't just a rule for children. It's probably even more important for adults. Adults have a higher awareness of worthlessness.
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Truly, there is great power in an artist who has a great command in his skillset. People envy and admire the ability to create something from nothing, a fantastic reality in an otherwise dull and relentlessly tiring world.
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EDITED
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A job is an opportunity, not a paycheck. Treat it like a paycheck, it will no longer be a opportunity. It will become a fat nagging girlfriend that requires quantity time when you could be banging some other hottie because you are too lazy and complacent to move on or work to better the relationship. She got fat in direct causal effect to your lack of attention.
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EDITED
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Sometimes I go through my old website journal entries, and I think to myself, "God, what a overly dramatic douchebag with a self indulgent masturbatory way of extreme introspection.

All that douchebaggery though, has made me the best douchebag I can be today!
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Please indulge me with unfulfillment, an everlasting denouement of unexpressed notions foolish or otherwise, sincere or imagined, exaggerated or true.
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I used to hate the gatekeepers.

ie) hiring managers, receptionist, art directors, girl who didn't really like me...

Now I AM a gatekeeper.

Can't beat 'em or suck up to one, become one.

BTW, I didn't become a girl, though some may say otherwise because of my love for cats.
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When people see that you have a great idea, and you are already busting your hump to actualize it, other people will excitedly want to participate by inputting their ideas into it when they have no intention of helping you beyond just the suggestion. If your efforts succeed, it is certain they will be there to stake a partial claim on your victory.
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When a person speaks with authority, typically a large percentage of listeners/readers will believe what they are fed without thinking twice about it. That's why advertising, news, and marketing works.
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I still look you up on the internet 5 years later.

4 comments:

kat said...

Your creativity, talent and insight extend far beyond your drawings.

alanbernard said...

you are a good gatekeeper, but you already know that. some points that you touched with this post today twanged on my nostalgic guitar, so keep playing the sweet music bro. never knew laundry could be so much fun.

the_jcw said...

I am intrigued by your blog. I for one find it a lot harder to write something that is worthy of even posting on my blog than to simply post some artwork I did.
kudos....and stuff

Anonymous said...

wow, freakin you're "whatever that old school shrinks name is"... Hope you're doing okay buddy, though this was written a while back and I think you're still out there so I'm guessing you're still good.
Damn, D