California is almost paradise.
The weather is wonderful.
Almost every day, I come home and open the windows, and leave the door open.
I don't even mind at night when the air chills, that leaving my windows open means that I can hear the neighbor's TV. They seem to be deaf. It's alright, I don't have a TV so it provides me a quiet break of the silence as I work or zone out on the internet.
Although I do not exercise, I like that everywhere I go, young people, middle aged people, old people are out exercising, whether it be pushing their babies in those wheeled things you push babies in, or running, or riding their bicycles with spandex on, even the chubby ones.
Maybe they will rub off on my and I too will start some sort of exercise regimen.
It takes me 8 minutes to get to work, maybe 12 minutes from work.
My coworkers are young, all hard working, positive individuals. We have a good team, and we seem to communicate openly now that the environment has changed. There is an air of excitement as we all work together as a machine, it feels as if we are on a winning team. I am glad to be part of the team. I've long been a loner, but I can see the value in a collective when the work required cannot be done by one. We all have our specialties.
I feel valuable there, which in anything seems to be the most important thing for anyone, to know that they are valued and worthy of attention. Over the past few years, reading John Maxwell/Zig Ziglar/Dale Carnegie etc, I've noticed that if sincerely done, being lavish in praise and hearty in approbation, not only helps to smooth and improve relations, but in doing so helps you realize the positives of those persons you look to praise.
This has to be done with thought, and not just empty selfishly motivated heart.
ART WORK/LIFE BALANCE
Currently, I'm still too heavily vested in my work to not take it home, but I figure that it will take a few months before I finally just work at work. Currently as I accomplish a decent level of efficiency with one task, another new task is absorbed, which is all fine as I would get bored if I was not challenged in such a way.
They also give me a tremendous amount of freedom. It's similar to my freelancing. If I conjure some new marketing tactic or an idea that might help our company, they don't mind if I run with it.
As far as my own artwork, I suppose it has suffered. It's to be expected as going from unemployed making art almost all the time, to working 50+ hours a week leaves very little time at night to create art. And on the weekends, at least for Friday and Saturday, I seem to crash and need to sleep more. LOL.
Either way, it's all good. I am exploring other artistic endeavors, and working for Teefury and DBH is necessary to build up my credibility and artist persona.
Besides especially for Teefury, like when I completed a good piece of art and I felt awesome for the accomplishment, when I consistently curate the best selling designs, I feel good that I TOTALLY KICK ASS. I suppose the self worth has now been transferred to my ability to curate and art direct, so the lack of being able to create art, hasnt really negatively affected me.
LOVE AND FRIENDS
I haven't really made the time to socialize in real life. I am not lonely.
I watched a film in which the couple on screen were in the older age, divorced, long after their children had grown up. I would be fine with that kind of life, waiting til I am older to get married.
I am not religious, (claim agnosticism, but influenced by Christian upbringing) but there is scripture that states that being married, being coupled, is almost more trouble than worth, that being single can be a great blessing. It's odd that Christian folk don't really stress that section of the Bible, cause Paul is stating the Ideal.
Although in my case, it's probably flawed to even mention it because I'm not using my singleness to devote my greater time share to worshiping God. Although I could probably spin it to say that I am investing my time in what I am most naturally talented to do, which is art, and work, which if God made me, is what he meant for me to do. Lawd knows I ain't no good with dealin with dem relationships! ;P
I am making alot of internet friends/connections as I have to speak with a ton of designers, and t-shirt fans, and related circles.
Although one may think internet friends are not real as in real like friends, with the level of interactivity and consistent time spent in awareness of each other, sometimes, maybe even more than sometimes, Internet friends are more real than real life friends. Internet friends, if you spend alot of time on the internet with social media, etc know you better than your real friends.
I don't mean to devalue my in real life friends, but if you allow it, the internet allows for a more truthful and intimate mental relationship than what you can create in real life. With the perceived protection of internet, that illusion of safety you feel not being face to face, I am more willing to express with internet people a larger degree of truth and my true identity.
Conversely, if any of my internet friends needs encouragement, all they need to do is express an inkling of want for approbation/reaction/praise/support, whether it be a twitter that seems to convey boredom/loneliness/anger/etc/need votes for a design/wants a reaction to a comment, people are more willing to back you up on the internet. (Although, if you run in polluted communities, there are those that will be more than willing to tear you down as well...)
Anyways, Im rambling. I should art, or do nothing.
Do nothing. I think I am going to meditate... Just sit still for 20 minutes.
May 3, 2009