Nov 2, 2008

YAY, 8:09 Mile.



This week was a good week, after a hiccup, many victories!

Many good things happened.

My first one mile run was timed at 8:46. Dwayne's was 9:49.

Today, after approximately a month of running we ran a mile at 8:09 and 8:11.

How sweet is that? Next week or maybe this coming Friday, gunning for under 8:00.

****** Seriously, if you have just started to run, even though you may be tempted to run every day, only run EVERY OTHER DAY. Your bones/muscles need time to heal. Weight train on the non running days. Otherwise, you will suffer great consequences. Im didnt heed internet advice so I've suffered pains from it.

It makes me feel as if almost anything is possible.

I also attended a Halloween party and an Art show this weekend.

Where as usually I personify myself as extremely introverted and awkwardly inept at social graces, I have to say, I did fairly well.

Maybe it is the residual self prophesying negativity I've long held dear? for so long. I was cripplingly shy when I was younger, I assume probably caused by moving from another country and language barriers and a mean and oppressive older brother... JOKES JOKES!!!!!!! hahah.

In actuality, negativity it seems is just all in the mind. After Layne mentioned my tendency about being self deprecating, I noticed it was quite accurate, sometimes I can't stop myself. Actually, it's more than sometimes. I'm just awfully judgmental/critical about myself, and it bleeds into judging others with a fierce measure. Anyways, such extremity is prone to being inaccurate, so I think knowing this will help me grow into a better person. Falsely viewing myself as being extremely awkward, unattractive, unwanted, etc, etc, etc... I'm hoping is something everyone experiences to some degree... but in reality, it don't mean a thing. Cause there will be people who love you, people who hate you (rarely), or mostly people who just don't give a crap. Provided that you are confident in yourself, and love freely without return, the likelihood that it will be reciprocated will be most likely than in other circumstance.

Insecurities it seems, is just a self propagated sham. No one sees you as awkward and inept as you do...

Unless you are actually retarded or have disgusting cold sore herpes outbreaks. Jokes jokes.

Besides, it seems all persons all have some nuance that seems odd socially, but if they are known to friends who understand, it's acceptable since everyone has their quirks.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I'm going to try to make something beautiful this week. If I don't oh well... next week, or sometime in my life.

Everything Irie...

at least this week.

;j

1 comment:

Nick said...

Self depreciation is something that most people deal with. Specifically artists as we pour our hard work onto a canvas only to be coldly scrutinized by anyone who would cast a gaze upon our efforts. As much as it's amazing and personal, it's hard to walk away without a complex.

You're amazing though. I read over the email you wrote me fairly regularly and am currently taking action on several of the suggestions. I think that was an awesome thing to do, helping a startup, and I'm never surprised to watch a person with that attitude succeed.

Keep doing what you do, and try to recognize your own greatness. Word up. Longest comment in history.