My Experience with Smoking and Addiction

I started medication today.

I should have some reservations about being so forthright about my vices, but I know that there are people out there that suffer from addiction as well. Truth is a good thing in my opinion. If people were more truthful about themselves and to others, they would be better suited for change than one who hides it, although it may be embarrassing to admit one's lack of discipline.

I started smoking around the age of 18, although I experimented around the age of 14-16.

Both my parents and all other relatives never smoked so it was not a failing of examples on their part. I suppose I ran with the wrong crowd. Most all my close friends in my youth all ended up being smokers, some successfully non smokers, but the majority are still dealing with it.

I have quit twice for long durations. Once for over 2 years, and another instance for 3 years.

I was amazed how easily I could pick up the habit after such a long time, but once a smoker always a smoker. Once you have succumbed to entertaining a vice for a short time to enjoy it, you will always be that person for the rest of your life. It's just your habits you change.

I started medication today, Chantix.

Hopefully within a week or two, it will begin to block the nicotine receptors that give the smoker pleasure, so after it begins to work, the smoker will not enjoy smoking and experience it as it is, which is inhaling smoke.

It's typical side effects are nausea, nightmares, and in rare cases depression and thoughts of suicide.

I used Wellbutran and Zyban the previous times I quit, and once I experienced wicked nightmares, by which I was unaffected because I thought they were pretty awesome visions, and the second time, I did experience some major bouts of depression, so much so I stopped taking the drug after 10 days and was still successful quitting for the 3+ years.

In my opinion though, smoking is a sign of depression, or a way to deal with it. Why else would a person neglect the negative health effects, the financial waste, and inefficieny of time management. (5 minutes per cigarette X 20 a day = 100 minutes, almost two hours!) Smoking is like injecting poison slowly into your veins over a long period of time.

I'm not depressed currently, but I suppose I had a lot on my mind a year ago when I quit my job and tottled off across the United States on my solo road trip. I started smoking pretty much when I left my parents home on day 1 of my trip. I quit for a few months for the sake of my new found girlfriend while I was at the ranch, but after that failed, or say I let fail, I started again on my trip back 7 months later.

Addiction seems to be the pleasurable thing that keeps up from living the fullest life we are blessed to live. As I see it, there lays a bountiful prize everyone is privy to, and it is our choice to take from it if we choose.

Whether it be alcohol, nicotine, a sedentary and complacent lifestyle, all vices try to take from us our ability to harvest the prize of a full life.

I want to live. At least for today, I have hope for a better life.

Next Hopefully Epic Design: Live Valiantly, Be Worth It.

*** I'll update with side effects and success or failure. If I'm correct, it's a 3 month program. Cessation usually occurs with a few weeks, but the prolonged duration of use is to increase success rate.