Jimiyo Art & Palaver!

LOL 4

2009-11-13T07:13:00.001-08:00

LOL 3

2009-10-30T23:19:00.001-07:00

LOL II

2009-10-20T20:52:00.001-07:00

LOL

2009-09-21T09:43:00.001-07:00

Interview

2009-08-28T07:29:00.000-07:00

> Would you share with me what were some of your initial
> experiences with art?

I've been drawing since kindergarten. My teacher that I totally loved used to reward me with a happy face. A little positive reinforcement goes a long way. I doodled through highschool, and it wasn't until the last two years of my college education that I started to get serious. I sometimes wonder if what could have been if I would have just concentrated just a little harder when I was younger. I would be like... totally crazy awesome word is born destroy everyone, but maybe it is good that I am not, keeps me humble.

> When did you decide to be an artist, and how did you know?

I've always had an affinity for art. It has just always been my identity.

As far as career, working sales for two years after graduating college made me hate life. I had saved enough money to just drop out the rat race, and attempt to get an art job. I quit, and I got an art job two months there after. Boom Shaka Laka!

> Where did you grow up?

I done grew up in Murfreesboro, Tennnnnneeesseee! It's 30 minutes from Nashville. So it's probably easier if I say, I done grew up in Naaahshvillllle, Tennnnnneeesseee!

> What was your family unit? Did you have brothers or
> sisters?

Like 50 Cent and his crew, we just have a small unit. Two brothers, one older at 34, one younger at 22. I am the middle child. My parents are still married. I feel blessed about that.

> Did you have artistic peers growing up? In high school? In
> college?

Not much. My family, nor friends did art. Even in college, there wasn't really anyone who really stood out as an artist. (I went to a regular school)

Then ENTER. THE. INTERNET.

BLAM!

gfxartist.com
conceptarts.org
cgtalk.com
the now dead eatpoo.com
polycount.com

If it had not been the artist communities online, I would be suxorz today.

Get online. There are hundreds of readily accessible artists everywhere. You can make friends.

And unlike burn out, dope smoking art students in college throwing their parents money away, the level of skill, quality, and professionalism of those artists you can find and interact with online is unbelievable.

> Were there teachers that influenced you? How so?

Hrm... not really. Most of them were there to get a paycheck.

Although one time... Guanping Zheng aka Mr Ping of my digital animation class said,

"You will be good one day, if you continue to practice."

How lamely awesome is that? He was pretty much saying... yeah kid, you got raw talent, but dont get cocky, you aint in the big leagues yet, and hopefully you don't become a drunk or go knock up some girl and have to get some crappy 9-5 that sucks your life force and determination.

> What was the most important thing you learned in school?

That it takes more than just the classes in school to get you out there in the art world. You have to bust your hump after school, out of school, and forever and forever.

Being an artist is a journey. You cant ever stop.

Nor should you want to.

> Do you have mentors or other working artists who influence
> you today?

Well, not directly. I have the internet to critique me. They are more than willing to bash you.

I'd recommend it. People on the internet don't care to be gentle. Learn how to eat critiques.

> Would you say your occupation is the same as your career?

hrm...? no.

My ultimate goal is to be a famous artist so I can sustain totally on the income I can produce from my art.

Right now I am an Art Director for a couple websites. It helps me gain alot of noteriety which helps build my artist persona. Eventually, once I accomplish my goals with being an AD, I will transition or concurrently focus on building my personal brand.

> Did you have any benchmarks in your career? By the time
> I’m X, I’ll have done Y?

Not really. Just keep banging out art. Although having things to strive for like... winning contests, getting published, etc do help.

> Were there any gatekeepers in the art world for you, people
> who either let you in or barred the way as you were coming
> through?

Chinese voice. There is only one gatekeeper grasshopper. It is you.

This is how it goes.

I tried getting an art job. I wasnt good enough.

I got better and better. I got so good at marketing myself and my type of art, that the offers now come to me.

Chinese voice. When you cannot obtain the object of desire, make it come to you.

The philosophy has worked. The last two art jobs, pretty much landed in my lap. I didnt even need to interview. And even the other day, Billabong contacted me through email to see I would be interested in freelancing with them.

WAT!? MADNESS!

> Is there any professional organization that you joined that
> you found particularly helpful to your career?

Scoff. Professional organization is for the Union workers.

Naw. Just kidding. I've never joined an organization before. I bet it helps though with networking... although... why would someone give you a lead when they might find the lead useful themselves?

Really... I hate organizations. "Whosoever be a man, must be a nonconformist."

They just help to create groupthink.

Groupthink is for those who cant lead themselves.

> What do you think are the major turning points in your
> career?

I won a contest at designbyhumans.com. That yanked me out of obscurity into design contest famedom.

> What’s been your interaction with or relation to the
> public over the years?

Man. These are alot of questions man....

I am somewhat the persona associated with teefury.com and designbyhumans.com as "jimiyo"

It's interesting how being semi public figure will affect how people view you. Some people criticize me, some people lurve me. I've lost somewhat of my own personal voice, cause I have to keep a professional, entertaining, positive, upbeat persona online. I think it's actually caused me to become much better in human relations. Because I know how to handle possible landmines, and I also try to be intentional in my interactions to make it a win win.

> What kind of control do you think you exert over your own
> destiny as an artist?

Chinese voice. The movie Matrix is... a true story. You. Control. Everything.

> What are you own criteria for success as an artist?

I continue to create the art that I want to create.

Getting an art job is nice, but its still a job. Theres still gonna be THE MAN, who tells you how and what to draw. That suxorz.

> Has money or critical success influenced your artistic
> decision making?

No. I took my first art job at $10/hour yo. If I would have been like... oh, my sales job got me 55K+, and you want me to do art for $10 and hour?

I wouldnt be where I am today.

> Are you satisfied with your career as an artist?

Chinese Voice: Never be satisfied. Always strive to become better.

> What do you think is your greatest disappointment in your
> professional career? What has been you greatest success?

Chinese voice: There is no disappointment if you learn from every stumble.
Chinese voice: The greatest success is moving forward.

> What advice would you give someone who wanted to be an
> artist today, as opposed to when you started?

It doesnt take long to get good. Just like anything, it takes practice. Start today, tomorrow you will be better.

Srsly though... you know when its in you. You wont even have to ask yourself, do I want to be an artist, cause you wont have time to question if you want to be or not.

All the Jokes from the Last Few Weeks

2009-08-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

Whilte trying to figure out who the celebrities were on Wotto's design

[2:45:52 PM] jimiyo: man. kurt was an attractive young man for being so emo and crap

[2:46:02 PM] Michelle: yup lol

[2:46:04 PM] jimiyo: so broody

[2:46:13 PM] jimiyo: its like

[2:46:17 PM] jimiyo: you WANT to cheer him up

[2:47:14 PM] jimiyo: this becoming successful in my career is really dampening my ability to be a tormented artist.

[2:47:24 PM] jimiyo: its probably hurting my chances with women too.

___________

"The person is angry they are unable to read arent they? Although they
may be satiated by the pretty pictures, they hate themselves for not being able to read the phrase "Safe Unsubscribe" at the bottom of every email. I clicked it for them."

________

Photo Shoot at the office the other day. Im lonely... not really.

________

Approved a Zombie Salvador Dali design at the printer's the other day. I like to think that the Hispanic workers adore me.

_______

_______

_________

[4:31:00 PM] jimiyo: hey michelle
[4:31:02 PM] jimiyo: tell me to stay strong and that
[4:31:07 PM] jimiyo: all of it is only in the mind
[4:31:17 PM] jimiyo: and i also
[4:31:26 PM] jimiyo: need some sort of patience

[4:31:35 PM] Michelle: hey jimi

[4:31:37 PM] jimiyo: and then give me a valium

[4:31:40 PM] Michelle: stay strong

[4:31:44 PM] jimiyo: yes

[4:31:47 PM] Michelle: it's all in your head bro

[4:31:47 PM] jimiyo: i will try michelle
[4:31:49 PM] jimiyo: yeah?
[4:31:56 PM] jimiyo: youre prolly right

[4:31:57 PM] Michelle: hell yeah man

[4:32:00 PM] jimiyo: huh
[4:32:05 PM] jimiyo: you are so wise

[4:32:06 PM] Michelle: relax, and you'll be fine

[4:32:12 PM] jimiyo: cool
[4:32:15 PM] jimiyo: i feel better
[4:32:17 PM] jimiyo: LAOLOLOLOL
[4:32:19 PM] jimiyo: srsly
[4:32:21 PM] jimiyo: that was good

[4:32:23 PM] Michelle: excellent :)

[4:32:26 PM] jimiyo: now
[4:32:30 PM] jimiyo: to BELIEVE it
[4:32:35 PM] jimiyo: wheres my valium!?!??

Jimiyo Vectors moved to The Golden Black

2009-08-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

http://thegoldenblack.com/products/artists/jimiyo/

I've moved all my vectors from YWFT to The Golden Black for a few reasons. YWFT raised their percentage of the profits due to the "economy" and to "use the money to advertise." To cut profits to artists where it costs them barely anything to maintain the servers and delivery service, I thought was a little greedy. Also, their usage agreements specifically called against using the vectors for apparel, which is ridiculous since I am known as an apparel designer. Why guide my market to a product they arent going to be able to use as they wish?

Anyways... Happy to be working with Chris Parks and all the other hot artists that are offering their vectors through thegoldenblack!

brainfart august 2009

2009-08-14T20:56:00.000-07:00

I slipped, cracked my head, and my dreams escaped into reality.

The spector of fear and insecurity vaporized like mist in the sun.

I stumbled weak and weary like a feeble old man up the mountain, only to find when I reached the summit that my shadow stood 50 feet tall, cast on the mountain behind me as I basked in the setting orange sun.

Reborn again like a child with renewed confidence, with vigor I aspired to reach the next summit.

Nothing is impossible.

..........

disclaimer: The following is very emo. It only comes out on occasion. It was a real feeling so, I suppose there might be some validity in it, or at least there are some issues I need to work out and perceptions I need to dispel...

If I ever come back to religion, get married, and have kids, it means I finally forgave myself and stopped thinking I (and everyone else in a way) was a burden to my parents and others, and that I was worth having existed.

I was somewhat tipsy when I had this revelation so it must be true.

I hope I believe this one day, cause it's tough believing nothing matters, especially myself.

But that lacking makes me put forth extraordindary efforts, so... as a source of utility, if my inseurity causes efforts that actuate some seemingly real meaning or worth, at least I found a way to circumvent, at least good enough to fool myself, my core issues, the burdens I carry.

...........

Haven't thought through it, so this is a unsubstantiated theory but

Often times when you raise someone up, give them power, teach them, they will turn on you. Not all, but over half will become proud as they learned from your mistakes, having taken a shortcut through your wisdom, and will mistakenly predict their ability to abscond beyond your level.

Easy for grasshopper to become an equal master, but to go beyond, not so much.

But Master having learned through mistakes has a deeper knowledge of how to learn, how to stick and move, grasshopper, not so much.

Good Luck grasshopper.

............

That flamboyant seemingly gay Target clerk, the one with the Gidget hair, thats like a helmet from all the hairspray, and brittle from the burgundy hair dye, might be a little offputting, but I have to say, he's the most fun and interesting clerk in comparison to the dull blank faces that could care less.

..........

Sourkrawt, milk, beer, coffee: All things I really used to enjoy, but as I have gotten older, make me poop not nice.

.............

She said, "Still hangin on to that huh?"

I spent 7 months out there, those are the only words that I remember of all the words that she spoke to me, that and her quirky smile. The words were probably the best words uttered in passing that seemed to say alot about my loser tendencies. I've since reformed. I don't hang on to much anymore, unless it serves to entertain me.

..............

The Japanese have a saying, "Gambate," which essentially means, try your hardest, do your best.

Although I've been far removed from my Japanese heritage since the age of 5 when my family moved to America, I think it's safe to say that the phrase is as ubiquitously used as something like "drive safe" or some other form as salutations provided it's used in the right context, whether it be going to school, going to work, etc.

People who are satisfied with the status quo baffle me.

It is through selfishness and fear that most people disenfranchise themselves out of an opportunity.

In most all things if you give it your all, you will get back more than if you just putz along and do Just what's necessary.

...........

Once past the tipping point, nothing exists to dispel regret if the tipping is the wrong way. Typically there is ample evidence along the way that one is about to reach the pinnacle of a decided fate. If only they had stopped before the summit. If only they had listened to the obvious warnings.

It is by mere seconds, the details, in which fate is sealed. A minute early, a minute late, could mean a minute saved from a car accident. Some things cannot be controlled as things occur as they will, but other fates are wholly controllable.

What small thing are you doing or not doing today, that will eventually cause the levee to break bringing forth a destiny to which you quietly submitted and contributed everyday for the longest time?

...........

Although difficult, in the end, it will all seem worth it. Whether it was or not, after the investment, you won't allow yourself to think otherwise.

What difficulty or challenge are you not accepting today, that might all seem worth it tomorrow?

...........

If the end of the world was immeninet, I suppose that I'd like to spend it with you, provided we exclude family from our list of obligatory people to hang out with before the world blows up. We wouldn't even have to make out.

............

Truth is, I relish my small successes, partially as I feel a sense of accomplishment, but a small part of me, maybe a large part of me, really enjoys the revenge of living well and quietly proving myself to all those persons who doubted me, slighted me, or even in their own quiet manner seem to say that their way was better, that they had made better life choices.

In the late 90's, I failed out of engineering school. I hated it from the beginning. Soon thereafter, I transferred and I was set free. I studied art and mass communications and I excelled.

After I transferred, I was a food server at a quaint little Japanese restaurant. It was year 5 or 6 after highschool graduation, and I was still going to college, working and paying for college as I went.

I remember a most humbling experience. A couple of recently graduated and employed acquaintences from the engineering school showed up. I served them, they asked me what I was up to, with a that's nice kind of sentiment and tried to quiet their thoughts that seemed to scream, "awkward, we went into college at the same time, you are a failure!"

As I walked away, they talked excitedly about their 401Ks and other work related topics typically indicative of the new blood, the naively excited noobie to the realm of the white collar worker.

I suppose I look back on that experience now and think... IN YOUR FACE!

Some other people who are on the list on IN YOUR FACE:

jokes
jokes

Take the path less traveled by...

............

Everyone has a filter for the information they let fly out their gates. Given enough trust and proding, most persons will let you know exactly how they feel. I hypothesize that everyone has a ton of stuff they wish they could unload. A significant other is nice for most things, but then significant others can be a source of angst... or I wonder, if a relationship was based on absolute truth, even the ugly stuff, if it would serve better for each party than to keep all of it unexpressed?

(I doubt it though, people usually don't like the Truth. They liked being lied to...)

(I even like lying to myself)

..........

Most relationships typically seek a symbiotic repriocity. If there isn't equality, it is certain that it will fail...

Unless one of them has a severe lack of self esteem... Are you that douchebag with no self eseteem or self respect?

Dump the Leech.

.............

I wake to a morning sun illuminating the blinded windows in a pale beige glow.

A cup of sweet milky coffee, a ceiling fan moving a nice breeze with its soft lulling song.

I turn on a pleasant, larthargic song by Elliot Smith, No Name #3.

Somewhat apropro that it has no name, just as I feel. I am alone, and it is quiet, no bodies are stirring outside, it is if I awoke in the wilderness in a light mist waiting for the burgeoning sun to wake all the creatures for another day.

.............

Given enough time, most people annoy me to the point of wanting not to know them, but when it comes to myself, I have to deal with it.

........

Breaking free from the world of the mind is actually quite hard even though we live in the physical world all day long. Most of the life we live might just be the arbitrary world we just painted for ourselves, when in reality, it could have been a vast and wonderful expanse if only we would have just let ourselves open our eyes.

..........

Im going to live tomorrow. Maybe... Chuckle.

Hummingbirds

2009-08-11T11:17:00.000-07:00

Set up my camcorder the other day on my porch. These guys are feisty.

....BTW I bought myself a voice recorder a while back. I've been recording my thoughts for a few weeks. If I ever get over my fear of sharing my thoughts, I'll post them.

I'd like to get back to writing a little more, but there's only so many hours in the day.

New Design WIP & Other stuff

2009-07-27T11:55:00.000-07:00

Lots of stuff has been happening. Maybe if I ever get the time to write, I'll update the blog with words. Went to Disneyland. For those of you that know about Threadless, and Designbyhumans, this is an entertaining photo.

Got my TomTom stolen. A few weeks ago I had stopped locking my car door as an experiment. Took about three weeks for the incident to occur.

Still living without internet at home. It's much more productive it seems.

It's good to let go of work almost totally when I leave work. Without the internet, there are some difficulties, but nothing that makes not having it not worth it.

New design! Im excited about this one. It's really flowin more than my usual stuff, and it's alot more free.

Finished: Revelation 2009

2009-07-23T07:03:00.000-07:00

Sullen feat Jimiyo on Redondo Beach OTM

2009-07-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

OH SNAP! Did some work for Sullen Clothing recently. They've recently sent me this picture.

Feels like there's so many awesome things happening in freelance, as well as some possibly huge stuff with DBH/TF... Exciting times. All that hard work, making art for years without payoff seems to be paying off quite a bit, Time for some Reapin! :D

Design Update

2009-07-14T08:12:00.000-07:00

Recently saw some of Aaron Horkey's work and I really want to escalate this piece towards that level of detail, although I'll probably fall greatly short from it, buts it's always good to strive for 11. We'll see. Too much detail, and it get's lost especially on a shirt, but as a poster, maybe not.

New Design

2009-07-13T07:19:00.000-07:00

New Style!

2009-07-10T07:45:00.001-07:00

Newsom Portrait Update

2009-07-09T06:46:00.000-07:00

I updated it. The last 10% seems to be the most difficult, cause I can adjust it easily, and the changes are all subtle, but noticeable to me. It's also annoying how it looks different on every monitor.

Joanna Newsom Portrait

2009-07-06T10:32:00.001-07:00

Oh snap!

(Actually not finalized. After seeing it on other monitors, I noticed a weirdness with the black.)

Process images: http://jimiyo.com/2009/Joanna/

Kabuto Design Update

2009-07-02T08:01:00.000-07:00

New Design: Kabuto Mask 09

2009-06-30T06:33:00.000-07:00

New Design: Ed Hardly

2009-06-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

http://www.jimiyo.com/2009/EdHardly500.jpg

No Internet #8 - Brain Vomit

2009-06-22T14:40:00.000-07:00

Speaking with Matt the other day, we were talking about how people can take a small obstacle, and make it a reason, rather an Excuse, to not accomplishing their goals.

Jimi: "I mean, that aint right, I've seen one dem Olympic athletes that ain't got no legs who have dem bendy.... Spatulas running like dis,"

I started pretend running, throwing out my gate in the awkward bounciness characteristic of those persons with special spring like prosthetic legs that look like minotaurs or upright goat legs.

"Hey, here's you some flapjacks and some eggs fool!" I said kicking out my legs as if to flip imaginary hotcakes and sunny sides up as if I were the fast order cook at Waffle House.

They ain't makin no excuses... they flip burgers while running a marathon!

Ah, slapstick. Good times, good times. It was the best laugh I've had in a few weeks.
___________________

Often times, people tell me to stop working so hard.

Maybe I should start going around telling people to work harder.
_______________

I've been trying to find ways to find more time.

I've decided to leave my car doors unlocked. I live in Orange County. Everyone drives a BMW or Mercedes. Who's going to steal from my dirty tin can?
______________

Wise words from Method Man on how to obtain true allegiance of a man:

"Back when I was nuttin', you made a brotha feel like he was somethin'. That's why I'm wit' you to this day, Boo, no frontin'."

Although motivational books will tell you to treat and believe in someone as what they could become, and they will escalate to your expectiations, I think this is just a general rule because there are some people out there who are total douchebags and will not escalate to anything but to fulfill their own selfish needs.

Just sayin...
______________

I spent $27 on a feeder and some red Kool Aid for some neighborhood hummingbird, and I said to the clerk,

"Instead of giving money to the homeless or needy, Im going to feed some birds, because birds are much cooler."

The feeder worked. The hummingbirds come withint 5 feet of my head while I'm reading my books on the patio.

Their wing flapping sounds and feels like when you get a rush in your heart.

The hummingbird drank a few sips, and zipped away. He said, "Thanks Mang!"
_____________

Obvious facts need to be reiterated regardless of how simple and visible people might think it is.

Our perception of truth is highly dependent upon the truth being set as an agenda in our minds.

Silly examples that can be applied to more worthy examples.

...

A regular soda has approximately 120-180 calories.
120-180 calories a day a year over the standard intake, will make you fat.

...

A soda costs 75 cents from the machine. A soda a day for a week is $3.75, the price of a 12 pack, which includes 7 more than purchased. We buy the soda for 75 cents though, although we might discriminate between a a quarter or two when making buying decisions at the grocery.
_______________

Regardless of value systems, it really comes down to money, power, status, and beauty doesn't it? (Maybe intelligence, but rarely.) It seems the traits that seem to be indicative of 'success' by societal norms are what's truly valued contradictory to truisms or religious doctrines may proliferate.
_______________

REINVENTED

The other day, someone wrote me an email, and it addressed me as "Jimmy," and I felt rush of pleasant nostalgia.

I started signing my name "jimi" in 2004, and from it, arose an artist persona. Though both "jimi" and "Jimmy" are the same person, it seems "Jimmy" represents a more simpler time, a more true persona of whoever this Jimmy Benedict was or used to be. Although my legal name is James, Jimmy is the name my parents gave me, and I grew up with as my identity.

I am not famous, but I am on the internet, which allows for more than the normal amount of people to surmise as they wish what may be my personality.

Nowadays, jimi, or jimiyo, is an identity that I promote as my persona, but in truth, it is only the streamlined artist persona I proliferate as my persona.

It is interesting that the more people know me, the more less people really know Jimmy, and just more of this jimiyo personality.

______________

I furrowed my brow and raised my voice in frustration the other day at work.

I hate getting angry because once I reach the boiling point, it's with great intensity that it's unleashed. It's typically not directed towards a specific person, and even during an intense, near bipolar expression of disappointment, I will revert back to normality and apologize DURING THE VENT to the person who might be in line of the destructive cycloptic, super efficient, focused laser beam of anger.

I am uncertain why anger causes me great distress. It causes an equivalent degree of sadness so overwhelmingly intense it requires a great degree of control not to break down and cry at the same time, as what is anger but a small degree of a primal feeling of wanting to destroy without regard?

_______________

When in the public eye, it is important not to be reactive, or sometimes even pay ANY attention to the jeers of the public.

If the jeers of the public were truly valid, they themselves would be the proliferaters of a product, service, or message.

They would actually be in a position of power where their opinion really matters. Most likely their lives don't allow that sense of control, and to compensate they have to vomit it all over the internet where ever it might be seen.
________________

My parents are really nice, down to earth people. I feel really fortunate cause I'm moderately nice, and down to earth because of them.

I'm starting to think that most people had crappy parents, and that's why most people are dicks.

People need to stop reproducing and stop the endless cycle of making dickheads.

And I need to start reproducing. jk.

________________

I miss you...

Sarah
Christian
Jeff
Jason
David
Kat
Sarah
Carrie
Chris
Chris
Eric
Erica
Kathy
Cathy
Easton
Judy
Joey
Sue
Paul
Daniel
Scott
Rick
Ali
Kate
James
Michelle
Elizabeth
Michelle
Josh
Randy
James
Shane
Brett
CJ
Mark
Shana
Josh
Tiffany
Shane
Greenhaven
Ash
Elizabeth
James
Barbara
Jemma
Blue
Marley
Kari
Lindsey
Chad
Chad
Maya
Nelly
Jon
Scott

____________

Never trust an ass kisser, a Southern female leasing office personnel, or a salesperson.
____________________

Found an eyebrow hair about an inch long pointing outwards from the hedgerow at
a 45 degree/10 o'clock angle. Also found a white nose hair. All points to me
getting old and cranky.
____________________

Downstairs neighbor. Newborn baby cries. Curry cooking stinks. TV too loud. Phone converstaions too loud. Please close your windows.
____________________

None of this matters.

Nerds

2009-06-18T15:05:00.001-07:00

Felt so gay my coworker and I wore the same shirt today...

No Internet Day #2

2009-06-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

On my second day of being without internet, I finished reading http://bit.ly/wxQzg, doodled a bit http://twitpic.com/7me0e, and I wrote what's below.

And did laundry.

______

Suppositional Truth: Of any close relationship, unless you are sexing them up and letting happy oxitocins and other chemicals bind you to the person, everyone is truly unbearable in full proximity after a certain amount of time. (for a hater like me... :D)
______

There were a group of kids on the playground. All of a sudden they bolted like a school of fish averting danger, leaving a younger little girl, who remained behind though she had could have followed with her scooter.

She sat wailing, muttering to herself something like, "Why they always leave me alone?"

Mumblings and sulking were interrupted by intermitten silence as her brain wafted from investigating the surrounding playground, her toes or whatnot. After a few moments, Oh yeah, she remembered, I'm bummed about being abandoned, and she started to cry again.

I was putting clothes in the washer, and she was unaware of my prescence. As I watched through the window, it somewhat reminded me of myself, having had experienced abandonment, or at least I seem to recall a few instances of the feeling, imagined or real who knows, from my childhood.

The funny, audacious response to her question would be, "It's probably because you are a needy attention whore, and your little friends don't like you. If you weren't so helpless, they might actually like you. I mean, look, there's the scooter, get off your whiny little ass and go find them."

But maybe her friends were a little insensitive. What can you expect from children, especially boys who are looking to go do something physical like ride their scooters or throw the ball.

I said "Hi," and smiled. I waved as I drove away as my laundry had been started. She smiled a cute, big smile, but I didn't look back because it was all that I had offer.

Sometimes people just want to know they exist, that they matter enough that someone notices. This isn't just a rule for children. It's probably even more important for adults. Adults have a higher awareness of worthlessness.
______

Truly, there is great power in an artist who has a great command in his skillset. People envy and admire the ability to create something from nothing, a fantastic reality in an otherwise dull and relentlessly tiring world.
______

EDITED
______

A job is an opportunity, not a paycheck. Treat it like a paycheck, it will no longer be a opportunity. It will become a fat nagging girlfriend that requires quantity time when you could be banging some other hottie because you are too lazy and complacent to move on or work to better the relationship. She got fat in direct causal effect to your lack of attention.
______

EDITED
______

Sometimes I go through my old website journal entries, and I think to myself, "God, what a overly dramatic douchebag with a self indulgent masturbatory way of extreme introspection.

All that douchebaggery though, has made me the best douchebag I can be today!
______

Please indulge me with unfulfillment, an everlasting denouement of unexpressed notions foolish or otherwise, sincere or imagined, exaggerated or true.
______

I used to hate the gatekeepers.

ie) hiring managers, receptionist, art directors, girl who didn't really like me...

Now I AM a gatekeeper.

Can't beat 'em or suck up to one, become one.

BTW, I didn't become a girl, though some may say otherwise because of my love for cats.
______

When people see that you have a great idea, and you are already busting your hump to actualize it, other people will excitedly want to participate by inputting their ideas into it when they have no intention of helping you beyond just the suggestion. If your efforts succeed, it is certain they will be there to stake a partial claim on your victory.
______

When a person speaks with authority, typically a large percentage of listeners/readers will believe what they are fed without thinking twice about it. That's why advertising, news, and marketing works.
______

I still look you up on the internet 5 years later.

No Internet Day #1

2009-06-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

I quit the internet at my home. Maybe I'll write about it in the near future.

I slept alot the first day, but then I sketched some.

I find that when you quit one thing, it's quickly replaced by something else rather quickly. Hopefully it will be a more productive time waster than surfing deal sites.

With my new employment and disposable income, I had been finding myself surfing sites like fatwallet, passwird, slickdeals, deals2buy, techbargains, xpbargains, LOLOLOLOL looking for stuff to NOT spend my money on.

CHANGE TIME!

LOL Dogs Suck

2009-06-14T11:50:00.001-07:00