Jun 30, 2009
Jun 29, 2009
Jun 22, 2009
No Internet #8 - Brain Vomit
Speaking with Matt the other day, we were talking about how people can take a small obstacle, and make it a reason, rather an Excuse, to not accomplishing their goals.
Jimi: "I mean, that aint right, I've seen one dem Olympic athletes that ain't got no legs who have dem bendy.... Spatulas running like dis,"
I started pretend running, throwing out my gate in the awkward bounciness characteristic of those persons with special spring like prosthetic legs that look like minotaurs or upright goat legs.
"Hey, here's you some flapjacks and some eggs fool!" I said kicking out my legs as if to flip imaginary hotcakes and sunny sides up as if I were the fast order cook at Waffle House.
They ain't makin no excuses... they flip burgers while running a marathon!
Ah, slapstick. Good times, good times. It was the best laugh I've had in a few weeks.
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Often times, people tell me to stop working so hard.
Maybe I should start going around telling people to work harder.
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I've been trying to find ways to find more time.
I've decided to leave my car doors unlocked. I live in Orange County. Everyone drives a BMW or Mercedes. Who's going to steal from my dirty tin can?
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Wise words from Method Man on how to obtain true allegiance of a man:
"Back when I was nuttin', you made a brotha feel like he was somethin'. That's why I'm wit' you to this day, Boo, no frontin'."
Although motivational books will tell you to treat and believe in someone as what they could become, and they will escalate to your expectiations, I think this is just a general rule because there are some people out there who are total douchebags and will not escalate to anything but to fulfill their own selfish needs.
Just sayin...
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I spent $27 on a feeder and some red Kool Aid for some neighborhood hummingbird, and I said to the clerk,
"Instead of giving money to the homeless or needy, Im going to feed some birds, because birds are much cooler."
The feeder worked. The hummingbirds come withint 5 feet of my head while I'm reading my books on the patio.
Their wing flapping sounds and feels like when you get a rush in your heart.
The hummingbird drank a few sips, and zipped away. He said, "Thanks Mang!"
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Obvious facts need to be reiterated regardless of how simple and visible people might think it is.
Our perception of truth is highly dependent upon the truth being set as an agenda in our minds.
Silly examples that can be applied to more worthy examples.
...
A regular soda has approximately 120-180 calories.
120-180 calories a day a year over the standard intake, will make you fat.
...
A soda costs 75 cents from the machine. A soda a day for a week is $3.75, the price of a 12 pack, which includes 7 more than purchased. We buy the soda for 75 cents though, although we might discriminate between a a quarter or two when making buying decisions at the grocery.
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Regardless of value systems, it really comes down to money, power, status, and beauty doesn't it? (Maybe intelligence, but rarely.) It seems the traits that seem to be indicative of 'success' by societal norms are what's truly valued contradictory to truisms or religious doctrines may proliferate.
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REINVENTED
The other day, someone wrote me an email, and it addressed me as "Jimmy," and I felt rush of pleasant nostalgia.
I started signing my name "jimi" in 2004, and from it, arose an artist persona. Though both "jimi" and "Jimmy" are the same person, it seems "Jimmy" represents a more simpler time, a more true persona of whoever this Jimmy Benedict was or used to be. Although my legal name is James, Jimmy is the name my parents gave me, and I grew up with as my identity.
I am not famous, but I am on the internet, which allows for more than the normal amount of people to surmise as they wish what may be my personality.
Nowadays, jimi, or jimiyo, is an identity that I promote as my persona, but in truth, it is only the streamlined artist persona I proliferate as my persona.
It is interesting that the more people know me, the more less people really know Jimmy, and just more of this jimiyo personality.
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I furrowed my brow and raised my voice in frustration the other day at work.
I hate getting angry because once I reach the boiling point, it's with great intensity that it's unleashed. It's typically not directed towards a specific person, and even during an intense, near bipolar expression of disappointment, I will revert back to normality and apologize DURING THE VENT to the person who might be in line of the destructive cycloptic, super efficient, focused laser beam of anger.
I am uncertain why anger causes me great distress. It causes an equivalent degree of sadness so overwhelmingly intense it requires a great degree of control not to break down and cry at the same time, as what is anger but a small degree of a primal feeling of wanting to destroy without regard?
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When in the public eye, it is important not to be reactive, or sometimes even pay ANY attention to the jeers of the public.
If the jeers of the public were truly valid, they themselves would be the proliferaters of a product, service, or message.
They would actually be in a position of power where their opinion really matters. Most likely their lives don't allow that sense of control, and to compensate they have to vomit it all over the internet where ever it might be seen.
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My parents are really nice, down to earth people. I feel really fortunate cause I'm moderately nice, and down to earth because of them.
I'm starting to think that most people had crappy parents, and that's why most people are dicks.
People need to stop reproducing and stop the endless cycle of making dickheads.
And I need to start reproducing. jk.
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I miss you...
Sarah
Christian
Jeff
Jason
David
Kat
Sarah
Carrie
Chris
Chris
Eric
Erica
Kathy
Cathy
Easton
Judy
Joey
Sue
Paul
Daniel
Scott
Rick
Ali
Kate
James
Michelle
Elizabeth
Michelle
Josh
Randy
James
Shane
Brett
CJ
Mark
Shana
Josh
Tiffany
Shane
Greenhaven
Ash
Elizabeth
James
Barbara
Jemma
Blue
Marley
Kari
Lindsey
Chad
Chad
Maya
Nelly
Jon
Scott
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Never trust an ass kisser, a Southern female leasing office personnel, or a salesperson.
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Found an eyebrow hair about an inch long pointing outwards from the hedgerow at
a 45 degree/10 o'clock angle. Also found a white nose hair. All points to me
getting old and cranky.
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Downstairs neighbor. Newborn baby cries. Curry cooking stinks. TV too loud. Phone converstaions too loud. Please close your windows.
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None of this matters.
Jun 18, 2009
Jun 17, 2009
No Internet Day #2
On my second day of being without internet, I finished reading http://bit.ly/wxQzg, doodled a bit http://twitpic.com/7me0e, and I wrote what's below.
And did laundry.
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Suppositional Truth: Of any close relationship, unless you are sexing them up and letting happy oxitocins and other chemicals bind you to the person, everyone is truly unbearable in full proximity after a certain amount of time. (for a hater like me... :D)
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There were a group of kids on the playground. All of a sudden they bolted like a school of fish averting danger, leaving a younger little girl, who remained behind though she had could have followed with her scooter.
She sat wailing, muttering to herself something like, "Why they always leave me alone?"
Mumblings and sulking were interrupted by intermitten silence as her brain wafted from investigating the surrounding playground, her toes or whatnot. After a few moments, Oh yeah, she remembered, I'm bummed about being abandoned, and she started to cry again.
I was putting clothes in the washer, and she was unaware of my prescence. As I watched through the window, it somewhat reminded me of myself, having had experienced abandonment, or at least I seem to recall a few instances of the feeling, imagined or real who knows, from my childhood.
The funny, audacious response to her question would be, "It's probably because you are a needy attention whore, and your little friends don't like you. If you weren't so helpless, they might actually like you. I mean, look, there's the scooter, get off your whiny little ass and go find them."
But maybe her friends were a little insensitive. What can you expect from children, especially boys who are looking to go do something physical like ride their scooters or throw the ball.
I said "Hi," and smiled. I waved as I drove away as my laundry had been started. She smiled a cute, big smile, but I didn't look back because it was all that I had offer.
Sometimes people just want to know they exist, that they matter enough that someone notices. This isn't just a rule for children. It's probably even more important for adults. Adults have a higher awareness of worthlessness.
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Truly, there is great power in an artist who has a great command in his skillset. People envy and admire the ability to create something from nothing, a fantastic reality in an otherwise dull and relentlessly tiring world.
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EDITED
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A job is an opportunity, not a paycheck. Treat it like a paycheck, it will no longer be a opportunity. It will become a fat nagging girlfriend that requires quantity time when you could be banging some other hottie because you are too lazy and complacent to move on or work to better the relationship. She got fat in direct causal effect to your lack of attention.
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EDITED
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Sometimes I go through my old website journal entries, and I think to myself, "God, what a overly dramatic douchebag with a self indulgent masturbatory way of extreme introspection.
All that douchebaggery though, has made me the best douchebag I can be today!
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Please indulge me with unfulfillment, an everlasting denouement of unexpressed notions foolish or otherwise, sincere or imagined, exaggerated or true.
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I used to hate the gatekeepers.
ie) hiring managers, receptionist, art directors, girl who didn't really like me...
Now I AM a gatekeeper.
Can't beat 'em or suck up to one, become one.
BTW, I didn't become a girl, though some may say otherwise because of my love for cats.
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When people see that you have a great idea, and you are already busting your hump to actualize it, other people will excitedly want to participate by inputting their ideas into it when they have no intention of helping you beyond just the suggestion. If your efforts succeed, it is certain they will be there to stake a partial claim on your victory.
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When a person speaks with authority, typically a large percentage of listeners/readers will believe what they are fed without thinking twice about it. That's why advertising, news, and marketing works.
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I still look you up on the internet 5 years later.
Jun 16, 2009
No Internet Day #1
I quit the internet at my home. Maybe I'll write about it in the near future.
I slept alot the first day, but then I sketched some.
I find that when you quit one thing, it's quickly replaced by something else rather quickly. Hopefully it will be a more productive time waster than surfing deal sites.
With my new employment and disposable income, I had been finding myself surfing sites like fatwallet, passwird, slickdeals, deals2buy, techbargains, xpbargains, LOLOLOLOL looking for stuff to NOT spend my money on.
CHANGE TIME!
Jun 14, 2009
Jun 8, 2009
Newly Baked Designs
A weird weekend. My brain was scratching for some clarity and direction. I think I found some, although clarity sometimes isn't always a cause of relief. At least, I know the general direction in which the map is leading, and although it will be a while I am on this leg of the journey, after many miles have been tread, I will reach a new plateau, where I feel confident exists even more fulfillment and wonder if I dare to reach it.

I also finished a third design, which I am keeping secret until it's on sale.
Jun 3, 2009
Jun 1, 2009
$10 Jimiyo Shirt on American Apparel YUM!
Buy it before it's gone, which will be about... 3-4 weeks.
http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=8955






